A Letter From An Alcoholic

An Open Letter to My Family

I am an alcoholic. I need help.

Don't allow me to lie to you. If you accept my evasions of the truth, you encourage me to lie. The truth may be painful but try to get at it.

Don't let me outsmart you. This would only allow me to avoid responsibility and would make me lose respect for you at the same time.

Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing pain. And, Don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement is made stick to it.

Don't let me exploit you or take advantage of you. If you do, you become an accomplice to my evasion of responsibility.

Don't lecture, moralize, scold, praise, blame, or argue when I'm drunk or sober. Don't pour out my liquor; it may make you feel better, but it will make the situation worse.

Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.

Don't allow your anxiety for me make you do what I should do for myself.

Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences of my drinking. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make my sickness worse.

Above all don't run away from reality as I do. Alcoholism, my illness gets worse as my drinking continues. Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for recovery. find al anon, whose groups exist to help families of alcoholics.

I need help. from a pastor, doctor, a psychologist, a counselor, from a recovered alcoholic who found sobriety in AA and from God. I cannot help myself.

I hate myself, but I love you. Please help me.
Signed,
Your Alcoholic

Those who are in recovery are in need of our LOVE. They don't need lectures or religious guilt poured over them. They need our strength and our love. They know we can not "fix" them and when they are truly ready to get help they recognize that if we "fix" them we are just holding them back from their recovery.

Loving an addict means that we express our love for them. We may not love their actions or choices but we can love the person.

Loving someone who is an addict of any kind is a painful road and sometimes we need the reminder that LOVE is the key.

My Thoughts On The Message from Boyd K Packer

After the recent talk given by Boyd K Packer, a leader of the LDS church I posted this comment when someone tried to defend his views against homosexuality, saying there was a lot of "hype" about the talk that was not necessary...

"Unfortunately the video is being played over and over again on all the news channels here, even by KSL (a local TV station owned by the LDS church) who has no reason to hype up anything.
I for one am very happy that due to modern technology talks can now be printed and verified as a t...rue copy of the message that was delivered over the pulpit. Gone are the days of changing a talk by simply typing up a nicer version.
What BKP has said over the years is clear. The message is not one of Christ Like Love. I remember being taught no to cast stones, judge lest I be judged and remember to LOVE my neighbor. I also heard many times when if people don't agree with the religious standings then it is ok to shun my neighbor all in the name of God. These contradictions have always astounded me, especially with all the stories of (LDS) church members being so persecuted for believing what they believed that others didn't agree with. Quite a contradiction to me.
We all have the right to live by the rules, laws and beliefs that we choose, that is what the church has always taught was their whole purpose for establishing their own area to live in where they could live by their beliefs, so why not give the same rights to others?
When God is the reason it is ok to do what one group wants to do and yet that same courtesy is not given to others it is appalling to me and clearly takes God out of the equation.
Thank heavens for the right to have our own opinions, beliefs and choices. We can choose to fight over beliefs or we can agree to disagree. We can choose to hate or we can choose to love. For all of this I am grateful.
I choose love."

We are all able to believe our own beliefs, it is when our beliefs become something we should inflict on others that I lose my willingness to keep quiet. So I wasn't quiet and I still choose love.

What I Believe about Love

I believe in love that is without manipulation, coercion, guilt or abuse.
I believe that people all have the right to love and be loved.
I believe that love that is respectful and honors all involved.
I believe that sexual orientation is not grounds for limiting the expression of love.
I believe the what is most important for children to know is that they are loved.
I believe that love is more than our looks, our intelligence, our beliefs, our financial status, our nationality, etc.
I believe that people make mistakes and when they do, even though we may not love the actions of the person, we still love the people themselves.
I believe "I love you" is a complete sentence.